First let me apologize as I have taken procrastination to new heights in not writing for 2 months. No excuse. I finally turned my procrastination against itself and convinced myself that if I don't write I have to do something responsible.....like my taxes. Blog it is.
A few weeks ago I was sent to "work" in Las Vegas. Just to clarify: I was paid to go to Vegas on the company dime. Forgive my uncontrolled giggling. For the record I did do my job. Stayed at the Flamingo - can't beat it for the money. The view from my window were the Caesars fountains. The Bellagio fountains were a little to the left. Every morning my breakfast of a diet coke and croissant was eaten outdoors in the flamingo gardens 20 feet from the exotic bird collection and waterfalls. Sigh...... Though I do have one major complaint for the Flamingo: If one of the cheeses in your "Four cheese pizza" is blue cheese that is VITAL information that should be on the menu. If I am selling you daycare and I say we have four staff members to keep an eye on your kids I would tell you if one was Michael Jackson.
The unusual becomes commonplace in Vegas. You have to pay attention not to take it for granted. One night I was wandering looking for dinner in the Caesars mall and came across Wolfgang Puck's asian restaurant. I say "Asian" because there was a full sushi bar and full chinese menu too. I was one of 3 customers there. Probed the staff for local knowledge and recommendations. Nice conversation with the bartender and a waitress so sexy that 20 or so IQ points were instantly sucked from my head every time we made eye contact. Once I scared her away I was given the remotes to the plasmas and left to my stir fry - the best stir fry I've ever had. That is a normal Sunday night in Vegas.
Part of what I love about Vegas is that everybody is there to have a good time. I don't mean tetanus shot and bail money good time - just enjoy themselves. You meet lots of fun people. Though a downside is that every extroverted mouthbreathing dolt you sit nearby seems to think that being in Vegas means you want to talk to them. During the entire week not once did the phrases "So what do you do" or "Have you been winning" escape my lips. They didn't even cross my mind. And yet I can go into detailed explanation as to the progressively tragic vocational paths and gambling habits of about 5 people I ran into there. This is where iPods come in handy. I often leave my earphones in even if it's not on. Even that doesn't stop everybody.
So I had never seen a cabaret. Isn't that a reason in and of itself? I thought so. An hour and a half, $50 (not counting 2 $8 bud lights) later I had seen a cabaret...and wanted my money back. If you are nauseatingly wealthy and your wife keeps you under 24 hr surveillance yet seems to think a cabaret is somehow different than a strip club than I can see the appeal - maybe. Watching girls try to turn stripping into a performance piece was painful. The good news was that $50 is much less than the $130 it would take to watch a good show so in my mind I now had $80 to try something else. Plan B: Hypnotist comedian! Saw Anthony Cools' show at the Paris. THAT was funny. Unfortunately it was 'you had to be there' funny. Somehow watching someone audition for a porno under the impression that a chair is a beautiful woman is humor that gets lost in translation. And it was only $60. See - I saved $20! If you subtract the $20 from my gambling losses I was only down $80 for the whole week. This is the logic that keeps the lights on in Las Vegas casinos.
