Portland

Hello loyal readers. Ok it's been a while since I've written but the posters below count for something right? Been busy...really busy. A few weeks ago I made my first trip to Portland. Now as an accomplished road warrior I have all the tricks down:

-Sandals for getting through security
-T-shirt with pocket for keeping ID and boarding pass handy (luggage ticket on back of boarding pass of course)
-Check in online 23:59 hrs before flight to get best seat (check seatguru.com for secret best seats)

I could go on. Here's a couple to add to the list. When going to Portland PACK AN UMBRELLA OR AT LEAST A HAT! A humbling road warrior mistake. To compound the problem there wasn't a beanie to be had in the entire city of Portland. My ears get cold easily and once cold it's over. As you may have guessed it rained THE ENTIRE WEEK. For a smart guy I am pretty stupid.

Found a smokin' deal at the Hilton downtown so I was downtown on foot all week. Cool town. On foot I had to choose between dozens of restaurants and bars. From really old wood carved bars to ultra swanky contemporary joints. Went to my first fondue restaurant. Lessons learned: First, don't go to a fondue restaurant alone - it's like sitting alone in a heart shaped jacuzzi...which I've also done sadly. Secondly, skip straight to dessert. The main course is glorified cheese dip - dessert is a steaming pot of happy. I didn't feel alone anymore. It was so good I felt dirty. Portland is a beer town. Micro-brews everywhere. In Malibu you get dirty looks for ordering a beer. In Portland you get dirty looks for not ordering a beer. I never got a chance to test my theory but I am pretty sure that the kids in the park had a nice thick porter in their sippy cups.

One thing I have to say bad about Portland: I have never had so many people beg me for money in one week in my life (close second to San Francisco and Houston). What was really aggravating about it is that most of them were perfectly healthy kids in their very early 20's...if that. I would like to get my coffee in the morning without having to put up with, "Hey Big-Baller, spare a dollar?" from a 19 yr old girl. That's a quote - I couldn't make that up. At risk of sounding like my right-wing conservative friends I wanted to say, "No Moonbeam, I can't, unless you promise to invest it in soap to wash that rancid patchouli funk out of your hairy armpits."

Took a drive over the mountains in the rented Caddy DTS (piiiiiimp) to the shore (see picture above). Highly recommended. Monterey it is not, but it makes southern California coastline look like the kiddy pool at Sunsplash. Desert rats don't get to drive through snowy forests often either. Snow is slippery if you are curious.

Great town, great time, too many hippies. Definitely check it out if you get a chance. Come thirsty and bring plenty of singles...but not for the hippies...